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HONEST INJUN EP

by TJ Felix

/
1.
feel the death spasms of a tiny bird in ur hand like the flacid cock of a perverted old man acid burned tongue, an evaporating word we were just kids, too young to understand welcome to the theater of the absurd all I've ever wanted was to be consumed all I've ever known was that I am doomed I felt love briefly, some say I was groomed I dreamed of u every single nite I was locked in that room mothers cry & then mothers die we blame them for birthing such swine but the burden is mine it's on me this time, for crying, crying soiled bed, crumpled sink busted head, wounds that stink I'm just glad I'm not alone broken bread, a severed link filled with dread every time I think the true depths of us are still unknown welcome to the theater of the absurd
2.
I get culture shock everytime I walk down gentrification way doors are all locked & the intersections blocked wen the Injuns come out to play see the color drain from us all wen its not ur pain u work on ur aim, I'm against the wall as u pick my brain blessed by mortality dont mess w my unreality dont resent me for needing relief just write me out of your history there's ppl that look like me in those books u read but they don't walk these streets paper cuts me bloody but pages dont bleed I'm needy for ur love, babe ur greedy for control, babe I'm bleeding on ur rug, babe death of an Honest injun oldest story ever told I'm grieving with my drugs, babe u make me doubt my soul, babe I saw u give all those cops hugs, babe death of an honest injun oldest story ever told I'll burn every bridge built by white men swim across the river & try to make it home again death of an honest injun oldest story ever told cash in my scalp cowboy just like them days of old death of an honest injun heart is tatters, land is sold come on & take a chance on love nothing matters but the lives we hold
3.
if ignorance is bliss then public school's heaven conditions are unliveable but firewater's helping me to adapt holding my moms hand outside of 7-11 I swore if she let me go I'd never come back thought I wouldn't come back but I did hours, days, months, years i waited I wanted to be somebody's kid but I'm just something someone created could u gather me up, I'm scattering sick from the freedom of never mattering trying to kick the habit of looking into mirrors endlessly shattering tell me, how soon will beauty feel impossible..? I cry & cry & cry & no one comes but the wolves raised on poison air & by pedophile machines & I still have the nerve to hold onto my dreams I mine my memory for relief but there is only a harsh glow life is fast but I always make time for grief damn near lost everyone I know but wut if luv was real? but what if luv was real? but what if love was real I'd say goodbye if I thought that one of us might die but the battles we've fought have taught us to laugh in the face of death so hysterical even a dead man walking would bat an eye we break the goddamn cycle with every hard won breath
4.
my pillow is a mound of soil my bed is 5 pounds of leaves I'm getting sick from blood & oil there is no getting clean wut could've been is wut always was why don't u let me in & lemme rub it on my cuts pills n booze & wicked ways I can't tell u how to pass the days they're killing the seasons so we worship the clock u sit around & act amazed but I can no longer watch cause I've got portals to unlock no one is gonna care unless u make them but u feel unknowable & so u forsake them life gets so heavy & u dont want to break them but eating shit is all you've ever known just hop up on the hood of this truck baby I'm no good, but I know u don't give a fuck no stars in the city but if there was im sure they'd wish us good luck there's never been anyone under these satellites quite like us pills n booze & wicked ways I can't tell u how to pass the days they're killing the seasons so we worship the clock I can no longer count the reasons why we no longer talk cause it's about time that I take off if u want freedom then u must create it but dont blame me for being jaded chaos arranged me then u shamed me for being naked but all I ever wanted was a home hold my head in ur lap be the family I've needed all along our ancestors warned us of this trap & they weren't wrong let the earth shatter, it doesn't matter I'll take u somewhere where we can be unknown we'll float thru space like a regal tatter but all I ever wanted was a home

about

written/recorded in a week or so on pirated software in my room & at redg

honestly

- TJ

credits

released June 2, 2022

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about

TJ Felix

just a homesick Qelmucw on stolen land

live band =
Phoenix on bass
Felonious Parker on drums
Matt on guitar /sax

(FKA industrial priest overcoats)

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